The Road Not Taken
by Daintress
Summary: Bella's life with Jacob was good - maybe not perfect, what ever IS? - but it was a *life*.  Until it just wasn't anymore, and might never be again. Can she ever pick up the pieces and go on?  An immediate sequel to "The Road Less Traveled"
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is a sequel. If you haven't read the previous story, it might not make much sense. I'd like to link you to the first story, but apparently that is not allowed. You can, of course, find it easily by visiting my profile. It's called "The Road Less Traveled."**

**Comments are very much appreciated. Chapter 15 only is rated M. The rest of the story is tame.**

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><p>Edward thought Bella Black might protest when he carried her straight through the house and up to his bedroom. He had never removed the bed from it, though it hurt him to see it. That's one reason he'd spent so much time away from home in the last twelve years.<p>

He laid her down gently on top of the gold comforter. As he'd carried her away from Jacob's unmarked grave, he had noticed several things. She didn't cling to him when he carried her, as she used to. She kept her body distant from his, though in his relief to be holding her again, he held her tightly. Her nose didn't twitch as she inhaled the scent of his skin, the way he remembered it once had.

Bella rolled away from him as soon as he released her, and he understood this to mean that she wanted to be alone. It hurt. He would have liked to have comforted her. He stood, indecisive, beside the bed for only an instant and then left the room. He went back downstairs to find that his family was conspicuously absent from all the common areas of the house. He turned on the television and stared at it blankly, unmoving. A few minutes later, the usual delegate for IEdward cheering/I appeared behind him. He could hear Emmett's thoughts long before he could discern the sound of his steps. He ignored him anyway.

"You didn't honestly expect her to be pleased to see you, after all that's happened," Emmett commented finally, when it became clear Edward wasn't going to answer the thought unless he voiced it.

"No."

"Do you think someone should stay with her? Just in case..." Emmett trailed off, and Edward suppressed a cringe at the rest of the thought, _…she tries to jump off another cliff or something?_

"No," he answered the spoken and unspoken alike. He didn't think that the Bella he'd seen today would be jumping off any cliffs. The Bella he'd seen today was not a person he was very familiar with. Twelve years had passed and changed nothing about him, but they'd made her almost unrecognizable.

It wasn't that she _looked_ very different. She could pass for twenty; her skin was still so smooth and pale, her long hair still so shiny. What had changed about her was completely internal. The facial expressions he used to study with more attention than he'd ever given to any other subject were utterly foreign to him now. And the way she'd stared down Jane. As if at any moment Jane couldn't have torn her to bits and laughed over it! No, this Bella was no one he knew. And yet he loved her. Deeply. Desperately. And hopelessly, as she lay upstairs mourning her dead husband.

Emmett was not generally a thoughtful individual. His easy smile and happy-go-lucky attitude made it difficult for him to engage in these sorts of pep talks. And yet every time Edward had started to sink into depression, every time since the moment Emmett had joined the family, HE was the one they all looked to, to pull him back out. He seated himself beside Edward on the couch and waited until the thoughtful expression on his face fell back into undisguised pain.

"She's not the girl we remember," he said quietly, taking a guess at Edward's thoughts based on his own. Finally, Edward turned to look at him. He wanted to deny that. He wanted to tell Emmett to _shut up_ about Bella, but he couldn't. Because, as usual, he could tell that Emmett was hurt by the changes in Bella, just as he was. Just as they all were. They had loved her like family, no one more than him, and she had Ichanged/I. It wasn't something that any member of the Cullen family had done. Not ever.

"No," he agreed finally. He turned his eyes back to the television.

Emmett looked at the TV, too. It was Emeril. He smirked. The one type of program that not a soul among them could get any use out of. As he thought it, Edward flipped the remote in his direction. "Here, then." He stood.

Emmett turned off the TV and stood as well. "Edward, come and hunt with me," he suggested quickly. He didn't want to loose him on the rest of the family until he'd at least smiled once. His reputation as Edward-tamer would forever be ruined.

Obligingly, as though he really had nothing else he wanted to be doing anyway, Edward offered him a weak smile at that thought. "Alright." Emmett gestured toward the back door, and followed Edward out into the chill light of dawn.

As they hunted, Emmett kept silent, but he thought a lot. He thought about what Bella meant to the family, which hadn't changed even if SHE had. He thought about what a great little sister she was going to make…in a hundred years, when she was free to join them again.

That made Edward wince, but Emmett couldn't help his next thought, which was that they all ought to go to the Volturi together. At least then, they could still be a family. Having them both gone from the house for the last decade had been hard on everyone, but especially Carlisle and Esme. Emmett wasn't aware that Edward had been hearing that thought repeated by every member of the family since he'd finished explaining the terms of Bella's negotiation.

"Cut it out, Emmett," Edward said through gritted teeth, when he'd had enough. They hadn't seen anything large enough to hunt in an hour, and Edward was getting sick of listening to Emmett's simplistic view of how things would be. He loved his brother, but sometimes the optimism got to him. He, himself, was not feeling particularly optimistic. Bella's pain-filled expression was too clearly imprinted on his mind for any kind of optimism.

"Edward, do you remember the last time Bella was at the house?" Emmett asked unnecessarily. Of course he remembered. He remembered everything. But that, especially, had been a memorable occasion, because whatever was left of his hope for them had been shattered and restored again, all in the same conversation. She'd come to ask Alice if she would be forfeiting a future with Edward by having Jacob's children. He'd told himself it meant something that she still hoped they could be together someday. But the thought of her and Jacob Black –

And then she'd disappeared for three days and come back married. He'd run away for another year after that. When he returned, it had been to Carlisle's description of the birth of Charlie Masen Black. Edward had curled up on the bed Bella now occupied and sobbed so hard he'd thought he might literally pass out. It had been Emmett who'd comforted him then, too. And he hadn't been able to tell if it was pain making him do it, or relief. She remembered him. She thought of him when she had her first child, although it wasn't his. Could never have been his.

"I remember." What a ridiculous understatement.

"She wanted to be with you then, or she would never have come. I'll wager whatever you'd like that she wants to be with you now. She just needs time."

"Time, we have." Edward heaved a sigh. "There's nothing out here to catch, and I don't want to go far. Were you very thirsty? I can send Jasper out."

"No. Let's go back," Emmett said, relieved to get more than three words at a time out of Edward. He counted that an improvement. Edward rolled his eyes at him as they turned back toward the house. "Want to race?" Emmett asked after a moment, letting some excitement creep into his tone. Edward neither looked at him nor sped up. And then suddenly, he was _gone_. Emmett grinned and followed, knowing he had no hope of catching him, but pleased that he'd played along.

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><p>Bella was certain Edward would be back as soon as she was asleep. However, when she discovered him gone, she took the opportunity to take off her filthy clothing and crawl under the covers. She kept her eyes carefully averted from the stains on her jeans where she'd wiped Jacob's blood. Her thoughts were scattered. She didn't dare think too long about any one thing. Jacob, little Charlie and Will, her parents, Billy. And the pack. Quil, as he'd held her, cried with her. Embry taking charge because it was his <em>nature<em> and he couldn't deny it. A last hug from Leah. Demetri's stricken face, which she had first thought she imagined, as she came to stand beside Edward.

She let her mind dwell there for a moment, as it felt relatively safe. Demetri wasn't like Jane and Felix. Of that she was sure. There was a gentleness about him that the others didn't share. If Jane had given him the order to kill Jacob, she had no doubt he would have done it. But he wouldn't have _enjoyed it_ as Felix had done. Felix. She'd never quite hated anyone the way she hated him. Not even back when she'd first thought Sam was stealing Jacob away from her, years upon years ago, it seemed to her now. She had hated him, but it was nothing to this.

Her mind skittered away from that train of thought, and inevitably came back to Jake. Had she really seen his soul? Had he spoken to her? How? It was a mystery that only he knew the answer to, and he was long gone, now. The Quileute legends said he had gone to be with his ancestors. She thought about Carlisle's vision of heaven and wondered if he was right. If vampires could go to heaven, maybe she could see Jacob again some day, after all...

And Edward. She didn't know what to do about Edward. She could tell, from the way he held her – from his silence – from the pain in his eyes, that nothing had changed. Every breath she took hurt him for one reason or another, and now they were shackled together for the next hundred years. He hadn't been able to stay with her six months while she'd worried over Jacob's disappearance. How was he going to stand her mourning?

Because she needed to mourn, and the way she felt right now, she was sure it would take more than six months. Jacob had been the foundation of her life for so long. Although she loved Edward as truly as she ever had, all her desire had been given to Jake. When Edward touched her now, it meant nothing. Her mind didn't blank. Her heart didn't race. There was no guarantee that it ever would again. She wasn't even sure what it would say about her if it DID. Maybe she'd rather not ever react to him that way again. Maybe if she did, she would be betraying Jacob's memory.

A few tears trickled from her closed eyes at that thought. Jacob had told her to go with Edward and not look back. Could she do that? Or would she spend the next hundred years as some hideous cross between a zombie and a vampire?

No. She wouldn't. It was Jacob who'd taught her that she could heal from these sorts of things. The only true betrayal of his memory would be to go back to the state he'd saved her from after Edward had first left. To act as though she'd learned nothing from his role in her life. She rolled onto her other side and looked out through the glass wall at the deep shadows of the forest. She wasn't going to be that broken girl. Not like before. Not ever again. Jacob had taught her that. And she had learned.

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><p>The airport was crowded. Alice and Bella disappeared into a restroom and Bella changed into the clothes Alice had insisted on purchasing for her. It wouldn't be very inconspicuous to try and board a plane in blood-smeared jeans when she was supposed to be dead. Edward knew she'd kept them, though. He could smell them from inside the suitcase Bella was borrowing from Esme. They all could, but no one commented.<p>

Everyone was remarkably quiet as they stood near the security station that would admit Edward and Bella to their gate. Even Emmett looked solemn. The fight that morning had been a surprise to them all. It had seemed only fitting that they all go to Volterra. The family wanted to be with her when she made the change. To support her, and hunt with her. And really, they were long overdue to move on from Forks. But Bella wasn't having it. She'd argued calmly, and had some very good points. But Carlisle's diplomacy and Esme's patience only dragged out the inevitable.

"You don't understand!" she'd finally yelled. "This was MY negotiation. And they aren't getting ANYTHING more than what they agreed to. I will NOT put any of you in their power. Either you stay home, or we ALL stay home, and prepare for them to come." The wild fear in her eyes as she spoke was worse than tears. She knew if she and Edward didn't go to Volterra, her children's lives were forfeit. Everyone she loved in La Push would die, and the Cullens would die trying to prevent it.

Edward said nothing as Carlisle and Esme gave in. He didn't look at Emmett, though he knew he was trying to catch his eye. And he knew why. One thing, at least, had not changed about Bella. Everyone else's safety still came before hers, in her mind.

When she and Alice emerged from the restroom, Bella with a fixed, and sad looking smile, and Alice talking at full speed about how cool it would be to have a pen pal, he began saying his goodbyes. He hugged Emmett first and Carlisle last. When Esme finally let go of Bella, he warily offered her his hand, and tried not to look surprised when she took it. He felt his family's satisfaction, but his only emotion was sadness. It wasn't like it had been. There was no stutter in her heartbeat at his touch, no hitch in her breathing. She let him lead her through the security line, an empty expression on her face, as though whatever force generally animated it was broken. He supposed that was very literally the case.

They got onto the plane, and Edward stashed their luggage in silence. The flight was full, and there were people everywhere. Anything he had hoped to say to her would have to wait. The flight to Seattle was silent. She didn't speak until their flight to New York had taken off.

"I've been trying very hard to think of a way to make this more bearable for you," Bella whispered.

Edward opened his eyes and lifted his head from the back of his seat, turning to look at her in surprise, though he was careful not to meet her eyes. There was something about the dead expression in them that hurt. Still, she'd been thinking about HIM? "Time will make it bearable." He could hear the pain in his own voice and regretted speaking.

Bella shook her head. "After you left, I thought long and hard about what I'd done. How I'd acted. You were right when you said I'd been quiet and distant. But I think – " she paused. "Edward?" she asked, and waited until he met her eyes. "I think you might have assumed I was thinking about him more often than I really was."

Edward froze, his eyes locked on hers. They didn't look so dead, anymore. In fact, she looked – vaguely hopeful. He felt his expression slowly change to match hers as she continued.

"I did think about him a lot. I was worried for him, and I missed him. And I imagine I'll think of him quite a lot for the next few years, too. But looking back, there were times when you seemed sad and I didn't know why. After you were gone – long after, when I could finally look at things objectively – I realized that it might have been that you thought I was thinking of him when I wasn't. I wondered, if I'd been more open with you about my thoughts, if maybe you wouldn't have left."

Bella swallowed and waited for some response. But Edward was simply staring at her with an unfathomable expression on his face. She looked away, wondering if it was already too late for this conversation. "When?" he whispered finally. When she turned back to him, startled. But he was leaning back in his seat again, his eyes closed, and his mouth twisted into a sad parody of a smile. She understood his question. He wanted specifics. He remembered it all – every conversation. Every silence. He wanted to know if knowing her thoughts would have made a difference.

She took a minute to wall off part of her heart. This was the difficult part, and the fastest way to ensure that they never moved beyond this stilted conversation was to burst into tears over Jacob in the middle of it. In her mind she offered an apology to him, with no way to know if he could hear.

"The first time was the night after the newborns came," she whispered. "I never told you – I never explained which of those tears were for what I'd given up and which were –" she stopped abruptly, shaking her head. Edward's brow furrowed, but he didn't open his eyes.

"That morning, when I sent you to bring him back, I regretted it as soon as you were gone. I already knew that I was going to tell him I'd chosen you. I didn't understand why I had to see him again. I thought there was something wrong with me, especially when I realized how much it cost you to go after him. I swore to myself that I would never shed another tear for him. That I'd never make you watch me cry over him again. The pain in your eyes!" She choked on the words, surprised at the depth of her own emotion on this topic, after so many years.

Being with Jacob had lessened the immediacy of her feelings for Edward, but hadn't lessened the emotions themselves. Talking about it now seemed to bring them closer to the surface. She was thankful, at least, that her eyes were still dry. She had used up all her tears the day before, she supposed.

Edward fidgeted slightly, and she recalled how he hated to be kept waiting while she struggled to put her thoughts into words. She continued quickly, "That night, when I thought I'd finally cried myself out; when the pain in the part of my heart that was missing seemed to have faded to the point where I might be able to sleep, it occurred to me that I'd broken that vow. That morning, I'd sworn I would never hurt you that way again, and then I spent the whole night doing just that." She looked away, turning her eyes to the window, though the sun had long since set and there was nothing to see. "I'm sure you recall the resulting hysterics," she finished dryly.

Edward kept his eyes closed. He hadn't known that any of those tears had been for him. For his pain. And it would have Imattered/I. He wondered, if he had tears to shed, would he be crying them now? He thought he probably would. He kept his eyes shut, but his breathing had picked up. He certainly FELT like crying.

Bella watched him for a long time before beginning again. "And the day I told you the wedding was off. That was horrible. I didn't know how to make you understand that it wasn't because I didn't want you. I just couldn't make myself have a party when I didn't know if my best friend was dead or alive. Because, whatever else he was to me then, he WAS my best friend, and that was reason enough." She leaned back in her seat, too, troubled by the stillness of Edward's face. She closed her eyes as well, and continued in a whisper.

"I knew you were nearby, that you could hear me crying that night. I was so angry with myself for hurting you. I wanted to put my head out the window and scream that I was sorry. That I'd been an idiot, and I wanted to marry you right then. To beg you to forgive me. But I didn't. I couldn't bear to ruin our wedding for you by being so worried over him. I couldn't exchange vows with you when I knew Jake would be on my mind the whole time. It didn't feel right, somehow. But I should have told you that was why. I should have found a way to explain that it was YOUR pain I cried for, not my own. I just – didn't know how," she finished lamely.

"I was on the roof all night, and the window was open," Edward whispered immediately. "But I was too proud to comfort you. I gave you no opportunity to tell me. The fault is mine." He swallowed hard, out of discomfort rather than necessity.

There were more. Dozens of times when Bella had failed to communicate and hundreds when Edward had made the wrong assumptions. It was a long flight to New York, and they covered many of them, one after another. It was an even more intense conversation than the days-long quiz sessions they'd had while first getting to know one another. When the plane finally landed, they fell silent, still not looking at one another.

Bella felt exhausted, and wondered desperately if there was a way to avoid resuming their talk during the next, and longer, leg of the trip. As they walked together into the airport, she realized there certainly was a way. "Edward? I think we've talked this topic to death. I hope, now that we both understand what was happening, that we can avoid doing it again."

He glanced over at her. She walked further from him than he'd like, as he was carrying a suitcase in each hand, but she was looking at him earnestly. "I hope so, too," he said solemnly. He'd wanted to find out more. Exactly how many times had he been mistaken? Which blank expressions were Jacob's and which were his? He felt driven to know. But he saw her hide a yawn behind her hand, and restrained himself. She was clearly exhausted, and he shouldn't be surprised. She'd been through hell the last two days, and here he was expecting her to relive, in grave detail, the LAST time she'd been put through hell. It wasn't fair to her.

They walked through the airport to the counter that accepted baggage for the last part of their trip, and he checked them both, this time. They wouldn't need to change airlines again, so it was unlikely that doing so would delay their arrival. Their layover was a few hours long. "Is there anything you want to look at?" he asked her as they walked back into the main section, full of shops.

"Actually, I was thinking I might want to get something to write in," Bella said hesitantly. "You told me once that memories of your life start to fade soon after the change," she added. "I'd like to write about my life while I still remember. So I can look back on it – all of it," she added, when she noticed his miserable expression. His face cleared immediately, but she couldn't be sure if that was only because he'd caught her looking or if her words had made him feel better.

They found the nearest bookstore, and she saw a journal she liked. There were three on the shelf. She thought about how fast Edward had been able to write notes to her in class, and wondered how many notebooks she could fill if she dedicated her first few days as a vampire to writing her life's story. She picked one up and approached the register.

"I need a dozen of these, do you have more in the back?" she asked bluntly. The woman looked at her like she was crazy for a second.

"I – I'll check," she replied, hurrying through a door at the back of the store. She reappeared a moment later carrying a box. Edward paid for it, expecting opposition, but Bella only said thank you. She had no money, anymore. Technically, she didn't even exist. She wondered how Charlie and the boys were taking the news of her death, and shuddered. Quil would write. She would find out.


	2. Chapter 2

Aro was ridiculously pleased to see Edward and Bella when they arrived. One of his bodyguards ushered them past the hidden doorway and through the golden doors Bella had noticed at the end of the hallway during her last trip to Volterra. It was the work of only a minute for Edward to convince Aro to let him be the one to change Bella.

"Of course, of course! After seeing how her blood calls to you, I could hardly deny you the chance," he said, all generosity. And then he'd clapped his hands and another of his bodyguards had shown them to a room on the next floor. The door was loudly locked behind them, and they stood, Edward staring at Bella, and Bella staring at the door.

After an uncomfortable moment, Bella turned to him. "He thinks you'll kill me and the treaty will be worthless. Jane is still in Forks, isn't she?"

Edward had gathered exactly that information from Aro's mind, and he was impressed with Bella's insight. "Yes," he admitted quietly. He knew he had the strength to do this. He'd done it before, after all, when he'd removed James' venom from her hand. But that had been so long ago, and he'd breached her trust since then, abandoning her when she was most vulnerable. He searched her face for any trace of fear, but couldn't trust his conclusion. Perhaps she was just much better at hiding such things, these days. Or perhaps she was so different that he wouldn't recognize it if he saw it.

Bella sighed and looked around, finding her suitcase at the foot of the bed in the next room. She changed into pajamas that she didn't remember buying, unwilling to thrash about in the blue jeans and top Alice had designated as 'flying clothes.' "The sooner we do this, the sooner it's over," she said over her shoulder, when she'd finished. She was looking pensively at an illuminated painting of a vineyard when he came through the door. The room had no windows.

He paused, wondering if he wanted to know what she was thinking. Her life was over. He was going to take it from her, and her soul as well. He wondered how much she hated him right now. He certainly hated himself. But then she spun on her heel and glared at him. "You aren't going to ask, are you? What have you decided I'm thinking about?" she demanded.

Edward looked down in embarrassment. She had him. He heard her take a deep breath and risked looking up at her through his lashes. It had no discernable affect. She spoke in a normal tone. "I wish they hadn't locked you in here. I wish you didn't have to sit through this. It'll probably be worse for you than for me," she said quietly – telling him her thoughts even though he hadn't asked.

"It won't." His voice was grim with the memory of his own transformation. As if he would leave her alone to face that! "But I wish it could be." He lifted his head at the end to see her expression softening. He reached out a hand, and she walked back towards him to take it. He saw her swallow and try to smile.

Bella piled up the pillows on the bed and seated herself against them. She was surprised how calm she was as Edward sat down, putting a hand on the other side of her waist to lean over her. He looked apologetic. She thought sadly about how happy this would have made them both, years before. This was certainly not the atmosphere that it would have been then.

Edward looked into her eyes and saw the sadness, but he knew better than to ask if she was sure. One thing he had learned about Bella Black in the last few days was that she would do anything for her family. He pictured her again, leaning forward over the roaring motorcycle as it skidded to a stop. Her own safety – her own pain – was still the least of her worries. "Are you ready?" he asked instead.

"It doesn't really matter if I am," she replied honestly. "Jane is just waiting for Aro's word that the treaty is nullified to go kill everyone I know. It's time."

Edward nodded and leaned toward her. For a long moment she thought he was going to kiss her, but he lowered his head and his chill lips grazed her neck, instead, breathing in the scent of her skin, of her blood. She lifted her chin, feeling her heartbeat speed up. She braced herself for the pain, but it didn't come. She felt his lips again, a little lower. For an instant, her heart stopped altogether. It occurred to her that she might not be as immune to him as she'd thought – as she felt was proper, all things considered.

"Will you tell me why?" he whispered against her skin, and she knew immediately what he meant. He couldn't tell if she was reacting to his kisses, or only the fear of his venom. At least he'd asked this time, instead of assuming. She was determined to reward him with absolute honesty.

"I'm a little embarrassed to admit that feels nice. Also, I wasn't expecting it. I was preparing myself for the fire."

Edward closed his eyes and allowed himself a slight smile. Maybe there was still hope. At least she was honest. He placed an open-mouthed kiss on her collarbone and felt her shiver. "This time will be the bite," he warned. She tensed again as, carefully, his lips found the pulsing vein in her throat, and sealed themselves around it. He paused for half a second to gauge his own readiness, and then carefully bit down.

Bella whimpered, and her hands came up to grasp his forearms. He barely felt it, though she couldn't possibly have squeezed any tighter. He remembered perfectly how her blood had tasted the last time, but that was nothing to tasting it again. His mind registered when it was time to pull away, but he drank a moment longer anyway, then forced his lips away and pressed his thumb over the bite. The venom would seal the wound almost instantly. He sat up to look at her, wiping a drop of blood from his lower lip with his thumb. He realized he was panting with the effort it had taken him to stop.

Bella had her teeth firmly clenched together, and there was agony in her eyes already. But she hadn't screamed yet. Rosalie had told her it did no good, so she thought she might not bother. She would only hurt her throat. For as long as such things were able to cause her pain.

She dimly heard Edward whisper a strangled apology. Then his face left her line of sight, and she felt the fire start at her left wrist, and then her right. He'd broken her hold on his arms like it was nothing. When he sank his teeth into the main artery to her left leg, she screamed in spite of herself.

Edward was relieved, but he winced at the sound anyway. At least Aro would know immediately that he hadn't failed. The treaty would hold. Quickly, he injected as much venom into her right leg as possible, putting just enough pressure on it to let the wound seal before he released her. He didn't want to touch her at all, as it would only increase the pain she was feeling. But she reached for his hand, and he let her take it, because he honestly couldn't deny her anything. "I'm so sorry," he whispered again, knowing she would never hear him over her own screams.

Bella only screamed for a few hours before she fell silent, gritting her teeth. "Rosalie was right," she gasped. "Sc - screaming doesn't help." Then she held her breath. She held it so long she completely passed out. That helped. Edward stared at her for a moment in disbelief. He'd never, ever heard of ANYONE being unconscious for any part of the transformation.

Then he chuckled darkly to himself. Bella was one of a kind. Her hand was still gripping his tightly, her body still tense. But she was breathing deeply and evenly now. He took the opportunity to gently push her hair away from where sweat had stuck it to her temples, the most he'd been able to touch her since carrying her to the house.

He was relieved she was missing at least some of the pain. He doubted it would be long before she awoke, but hoped for a few hours at least. He had thought that hell on earth was knowing that she was married to Jacob Black. But at least during that time, she'd been safe and happy. Hearing her scream, knowing HE had made her scream in agony – THAT was hell on earth. He closed his eyes, held her hand and waited.

* * *

><p>When her screams fell to whimpers, she saw Edward turn away from the vineyard painting. She closed her eyes as he sat down again beside her. For the better part of three days he'd been sitting in exactly that posture, but before her most recent screaming episode, she'd asked him through clenched teeth to please look the other way. She couldn't stand the guilt in his eyes.<p>

When her whimpers ceased entirely, and her body began to relax, she felt his hand in her damp hair. She opened her eyes. Carefully, she raised her own hands and noticed how much clearer her vision was. She glittered, even in the dimly lit room. She could see every facet of her own fingers. She glanced at Edward – more quickly than he was used to – and caught him staring at the bracelet that still adorned her left wrist. Or maybe he was looking at her rings. She wasn't sure, but she could sense his embarrassment as he looked away.

She studied his face anyway. There was something different about it. His eyes were the same dark ochre she recalled from before her transformation, but there was more to see in them. "Look at me," she commanded curiously, noting the crystalline quality of her own voice only dimly as he looked up again.

She reached out a hand and caught his jaw, forcing his eyes to hers, and squinted. There was something different. Or – not different, but more visible than she expected. Something she'd always known was there. Jacob's words came back to her. _You see souls…_ She shivered and let him go, looking away.

"Can you hear my thoughts?" she asked, covering her own discomfort.

"No. You will always be a mystery to me," he replied, partially amused, but mostly sad.

"Not always. I will just have to be very honest." Bella smiled. It wasn't much like the smiles Edward remembered – it didn't quite reach her eyes, but it was the first non-miserable expression he'd seen on her face yet. He couldn't help but quirk a smile back at her, and when her completely unnecessary breathing caught for a moment, he full out grinned.

Bella kept her eyes on him and forced herself to breathe. It was easier than it had been as a human. She had intended to tell him immediately about her newfound ability, but something else caught her attention in that moment. "What stinks?" she asked, wrinkling her nose. One of her hands strayed to her stomach, which shouldn't be capable, anymore, of feeling like she was trying to keep down her last meal.

Edward grimaced. His whole body tensed as if he expected to have to restrain her at any moment. "Are you thirsty?" he asked resignedly.

Bella cocked her head, considering. "Yes. But something reeks in here! It's turning my stomach."

She met his worried eyes with confusion. Why did he look so concerned? And then, suddenly, he was_ laughing_. She hadn't heard him laugh in more years than she cared to count. It was a beautiful sound but astoundingly loud – so loud that she was sure it would have injured her ears if she'd still been human. As it was, it sounded joyous to her, like a deep gong ringing through the tower. She shook her head bemusedly, wondering how she'd been unintentionally funny this time.

A knock sounded at the door, and she heard it in spite of the ruckus Edward was making. He shot up from the bed and grasped her hands, pulling her to her feet. "You answer it," he said, still grinning.

Bella had never been one to care much about her clothes, but she rolled her eyes as he pulled her to the door in her sweat-stained pajamas. It didn't bother her enough to prevent her from following, however. "Come in," she said. She and Edward waited, their hands clasped together, while someone unlocked the door. Bella shrugged and blurred as she moved to open it before anyone else could. She smiled again, as one of Aro's bodyguards stumbled over the threshold, the door handle having been wrenched from his grip. He hastily stepped back so that Aro, already laughing, could precede him into the room.

"Oh ha ha ha!" Aro looked back and forth between Bella and Edward. He offered Bella his hand, as if she should shake it, and she raised her own to take it, while Edward smirked. He knew it was pointless of Aro to hope that the transformation had opened her mind to either of them. Aro immediately shook his head and released her.

"Welcome to the family, my dear," he said warmly. Bella's smile fell. This was not her family. She had left all of her family in Forks. Charlie, the boys, the pack, and the Cullens. She met Aro's eyes calmly, however, knowing that this was the price she paid for their safety. It was worth it.

And then, as she gazed brazenly at him, she noticed it. The sheer timelessness of his soul took her breath away. She took an involuntary step backward, blinking.

"Are you alright?" he asked, and she could see in his eyes that his concern was real. She recovered quickly. Years of hiding other people's secrets were going to pay off for her now. He would have to know, eventually, but she wanted to tell Edward first. It seemed only fair.

"I feel a little sick to my stomach, to be honest," she said, confusion tingeing her voice. "I didn't think that was possible. I don't remember Edward ever feeling sick."

"Do you taste the venom?" Aro asked, and a wickedness crept into his tone.

"No. I don't taste anything. But I smell something vile. Like – rust, and salt…" she trailed off, her eyes widening in sudden comprehension. She spun so fast Aro's old eyes could hardly follow the movement, and she was looking at Edward, her face full of shock. "I can't possibly still be sickened by blood!" she exclaimed worriedly.

Edward was clearly holding back laughter. He turned to Aro to explain. "Bella, as a human, could smell human blood. It made her pass out. I had to carry her to the nurse's office the day the Biology class did blood typing, and she hadn't even pricked her own finger. I didn't think it was possible for a human to smell blood, especially in such small quantities, but she could describe it perfectly. It seems she isn't going to be swayed by the room you've offered her," he added, his voice tightening.

"I don't understand," Bella said at once, turning back to Aro. He looked both shocked and uncomfortable. As if he'd forgotten that Edward would know what he was up to when he placed Bella in_ this_ room for her transformation, though of course, it was impossible for him to have forgotten anything. He didn't reply.

"Aro thought that he could tempt you from the diet you've chosen if he gave you the quarters directly above their feeding room. He made sure there would be humans present today, so that you couldn't help but smell them."

Bella heard the anger in Edward's voice, but she knew this was exactly the sort of tactic Aro would try. She could _see_ it through his eyes. His was a crafty soul. Gunmetal gray, ancient, and only barely disguised by the cloudy red of his eyes. At least, only barely disguised to HER vision. She turned back to him and smiled as naturally as she could manage. As if his diet and way of life didn't thoroughly disgust her.

"I can't possibly live in this room. I'd feel ill all the time. Isn't there anywhere else I can stay?" She shamelessly fluttered her eyelashes at him, as she'd done to Jacob during her first trip to La Push with her high school crowd. The memory of it made her heart ache, but she didn't let it show in her face. Aro caved as quickly and easily as Jacob had done.

"Of course, my dear. Imagine! You must be the only vampire in the history of the world to dislike the scent of human blood! I wonder how you will react to Edward's diet. I should think all blood smells quite similar. What will we do if you can't feed at all?" he joked weakly.

"Actually, it's remarkably different," Edward contradicted him, smiling again. Bella looked at him gratefully, pleased he was able to control his anger. She recalled his temper very clearly, though it had never been directed at her. "I'm sure she'll be fine. But it probably would be prudent for me to take her hunting tonight," he added. He drank in the expression she directed at him. This, he could do for her. After all he'd put her through, for her to look pleased with him for any reason was a miracle, in his opinion. And a welcome one. He stared at her, realizing she was holding his gaze much longer than was strictly normal.

"What time is it?" Bella asked after a moment, turning back to Aro. In a room with no windows, writhing about on the bed in agony, she had not managed to keep track of the hours. And hunting sounded good.

"Almost noon," Aro replied, amused. Then he turned slightly. "Take her things upstairs to the vacant room, and Edward's as well. Give him the room across from it." One of his bodyguards stepped forward.

The man looked at him with his jaw locked. "That's Demetri's room," he reminded Aro unnecessarily. As if he might not already know it.

Aro only looked at him mildly until he complied. Bella watched the man through hooded eyes, afraid of what she might see if she caught a glimpse of his soul. She imagined it was as dark as the gray cloak he wore, and far more malignant. She suppressed a shudder, and realized how simple it was. Her new body was far easier to control than her old. No more blushes, or unconscious reactions. And Jacob had thought her a good liar _before_. Any pleasantness in her expression vanished with that thought, and she turned her eyes back to Aro, braced, this time, for the glimpse into his soul.

Aro was gesturing for her to follow him so she did, and she could hear Edward moving behind her. She had never heard his steps before. They were whisper soft, even now, but she reveled in the thought that he wouldn't be able to sneak up on her anymore.

* * *

><p>When Bella was finally alone in her new room, she peeled off the pajamas she'd worn. She stood, nude, at the foot of her completely unnecessary bed and held them for a moment, then launched them toward the garbage can. They hit the inside rim and went in, but the can tipped over from the force of it. She grimaced, righted it, and found the bathroom. Without glancing into it, she lifted the huge mirror from the wall and turned it around, placing it back in the archaic brass holders backwards, promising herself she'd dispose of it as soon as possible.<p>

Sweat had dried on her skin, and her hair was still damp with it. She desperately needed a shower. She marveled at the feel of everything that touched her. Water, soap, and her own hands. She didn't feel cold, but EVERYTHING felt slightly warm against her skin, except her hands.

She dug through her bag to find something to wear. The clothing she'd been wearing on her last day in La Push was on top, and she set it carefully aside, her nose slightly wrinkled. Werewolves DID smell awful, but at least they didn't make her stomach feel queasy like humans. And in spite of the burning in her nose, the smell was comforting, somehow. She wondered if there was some way to preserve it, then shook her head, realizing the silliness of the thought. She forced her eyes to slide passed the blood on those jeans, and then changed her mind and stared at it. Finally she picked the whole outfit up and put it in the bottom drawer of the antique dresser that stood on the opposite wall, determining to get a trunk or something to put them in later.

She put on the very next articles of clothing she found, and tossed everything else into the first four drawers haphazardly. That complete, she turned her attention to the box of blank journals. In the sitting room there was a small desk, a television, and a leather couch that reminded her very much of the squishy armchairs she'd purchased for her bookstore, a lifetime ago, it now seemed. She turned her back on the couch to sit down at the desk with a journal in her hand, and found herself a pen in the first drawer.

And then she wrote. She put her pen all the way through the first several pages, tearing them, when she first began. She ripped them out and threw them away, beginning again and again. It took several tries to determine just how much pressure she could safely put on the pen to keep from destroying the paper.

She was thrilled that she could still remember her life in Forks in such detail. Clearly human memories didn't fade immediately. She made sure to write even what she'd thought and felt at the time, knowing that one day she would need this reminder. She would memorize her life all over again, as soon as she realized it was slipping away. In this way, she would make sure she never lost Jacob or little Charlie or Will. She would remember everything about them.

She also never wanted to lose the wonder of her first days with Edward. She'd finished seven journals about her life with Jacob – everything consequential that had happened since the moment of his return until the day he'd died – and had only just begun to write the true beginning of the story, her first days in Forks, when someone knocked at her door. She hadn't been paying close enough attention to hear their approach.

"Come in."

Edward opened the door hesitantly. He had spent the remainder of the day wishing she would come to him before it was time to hunt. She had not. He could see plainly what she'd spent the time doing, and he felt a little foolish. It was only natural that she would be mourning Jacob Black, but that hadn't prevented him from hoping that she would seek him out. He would have liked the opportunity to comfort her in whatever small way he could. He looked at the stack of books and forced a smile. "You've been busy. Do you think you have time to learn to hunt?" he teased lightly.

"Important vampire skill," she returned with mock seriousness, closing the journal in front of her. "I suppose I could make time." She smiled at him, but he was still looking wistfully at the completed journals. "Edward, eventually, you can read those," she said quietly. His head snapped around, then, and he couldn't keep the surprise from his face. "Not yet," she clarified quickly. "But someday – when it doesn't hurt so much." She knew she would heal. That the pain in her heart would fade, and she and Edward would be together. Maybe it would even be a lot like it had been before, if he could stand to stick around until then. But in the meantime, giving him permission to read those books would only hurt them both.

"You can read this one tomorrow, if you want," she added, tapping the one she'd been working on when he came in. "I just got to the Italian restaurant in Port Angeles." She smiled again. Edward smiled, too, and held out a hand. She took it, and he led her down into the deserted streets of Volterra. They scaled the city wall, Bella trying out her newfound strength for the first time, and then they ran through the woods side by side, beginning the hunt.


	3. Chapter 3

Running through the woods was exhilarating. Bella had spent a lot of time in the woods since first moving to Forks, and it brought back so many memories – most of which made her sad for one reason or another, but some of which were embarrassing. Like every time she'd tried to move independently. She reveled in the ease with which she could avoid the trees.

She knew from the beginning that she wasn't as fast as Edward, and probably never would be. It was hard to say if that was because he just had a better build for running, or if it was some leftover hesitancy on her part. But he waited for her rather than running ahead, as patient with her shortcomings now as he'd been when they were much more pronounced.

Once they were far enough from civilization, Edward stopped abruptly. Bella tried to do the same, but she overbalanced, unused to the speed. She stumbled, and then caught herself without actually falling – an improvement, to her mind. Looking up, however, she noticed the amused light in Edward's eyes, and his lopsided grin. She set her jaw and looked away. "Some things never change," Edward commented, unable to help himself. She threw him an exasperated glance, but didn't answer. The truth was, she couldn't imagine Alice or Rosalie EVER being so uncoordinated as to stumble over nothing. So, clearly she would always be the klutz of the family. She tried not to let it bother her.

"What do I smell?" she asked, determined not to discuss her mishap. She definitely smelled something that seemed edible to her. The blood of the creatures around her was not filled with the same metals as human blood. It smelled…cleaner, somehow. She decided that 'vegan' would be a better way to describe the Cullens' diet.

Edward chuckled, both at her desire to ignore her stumble, and the unconscious posture she'd adopted that told him plainly that she was ready to hunt. She'd hidden her thirst well before she'd scented something she liked, but now she was definitely tensed for the hunt. "It smells like wild boar to me," he said easily, enjoying himself for the first time in recent memory. "Three of them will probably hold you a few days, or there are brown bears here, if you want just one kill to last a while."

Bella cringed at the word 'kill,' but nodded. "Bear, then. It'll give us something to write Emmett about." Her voice was a little weak, but her nose was already trying to determine which of the many scents around her might indicate that there were bears nearby. It was frustrating, not knowing.

"We'll go a little further, then, toward the mountains." He set off again, and she noticed he moved slower than before. She grimaced in annoyance, but couldn't pass him up. She needed his experienced nose.

She could feel the bloodlust and it was strong. Often she was distracted by a nearer scent of blood, though she couldn't tell what kind of animal it might be. She had no way of knowing the size of the animal she scented, so she continued to follow him, occasionally hissing with impatience when she had to turn away from something that seemed viable. Venom filled her mouth, and it tasted odd. She recalled Jacob's description of a vampire's scent – sweet and icy. That was precisely the taste of the venom.

Edward glanced over at her often, and her expression was fearsome. It made him grin. For all the strangeness of her taste in blood, she was still a newborn, and she needed to feed. He slowed, catching the trail he'd been looking for, and heard her hiss again, frustrated. She always had been rather impatient. The thought brought to mind something else she'd been impatient with him for, and he felt his face go carefully blank for a brief moment. There'd been a time when she'd wanted him more than blood, and he'd wasted his chance to know what that felt like. IJacob/I had received that in his place. He felt his own thirst sharpen, and he registered the other large animals nearby – wolves. How he'd love to hunt them instead.

But he knew better. She might be giving herself over to the hunt right now, but if he tried to feed on a wolf, there would likely be the argument to end all arguments. And he wasn't ready for this to end now, when he was only just getting another chance. He suppressed a snarl and turned away from that trail to continue tracking the bear.

As they began climbing into the rocky regions, the breeze brought the sent of lynx to his nose as well. He smiled slightly in anticipation. Once she had her bear, they would hunt that. He was thirsty as well. And long ago, she Ihad/I asked to see him hunt.

* * *

><p>Bella made a mess of her clothes in her effort to subdue the bear. Edward explained patiently that she'd not been quite fast enough, and probably should have snapped its neck FIRST, instead of waiting until after it had shredded her shirt. She would have been annoyed with him for stating the obvious, but as he had already given her HIS shirt to wear, she found she couldn't. At least she wouldn't have to go back to the Volturi with her chest exposed. She could hear Aro's laughter already, knowing he would inevitably share all of Edward's thoughts on the hunt when they returned. That would be plenty embarrassing enough.<p>

They still had three hours until dawn, and her thirst was much more manageable as they headed back toward Volterra. She hadn't realized, as she sat in her room writing all evening, just how strong it had been. She counted that a blessing, as they couldn't possibly have hunted in the daylight anyway. She glanced at Edward's bare chest, and then her eyes flickered to his. He was watching her carefully, trying to gauge her reaction to his state of undress, she supposed. She held his eyes for a long moment, then looked forward again. It was unnerving to her to run with her head turned, even though she was fairly certain she knew where the trees were. But she found it difficult to look away from his eyes, and she knew she was going to have to tell him why.

Her thoughts were a mess on this subject, though. Edward truly believed he had no soul. How would he react when she told him she could Isee/I it? Would he even believe her? If he didn't, would he be angry? Accuse her of lying to him? She was also more than a little nervous about Aro finding out right away. Once he was aware, the others would know it, too. And she was ALREADY nervous about the others. Caius, Jane, and Felix, especially. She knew they disliked her, and each was powerful in their own way. She was almost certain that Aro was truly in control, and she and Edward would be left alone so long as he desired their presence. But that didn't mean that interacting with the others would be pleasant in any way.

Bella slowed down when Edward swung wide of Volterra's wall. "We can't go in the way we got out," he explained, matching her pace. "We'll use the defunct sewers – like the first time – to get back."

She nodded, then slowed further, until even a human could keep up with her. Edward looked at her curiously, but slowed again to walk beside her. She held his gaze until he looked away. She wondered if she would ever get her fill of looking into his soul. It was the first soul she'd ever seen, besides Jacob's. As she'd spent the day writing, other parts of her mind had been turning over the mystery of the differences between their souls. Jacob was a spirit wolf. According to the Quileute legends, that meant his physical body had taken on the appearance of his spirit form when he made the change, so it made sense that his soul looked very much like he had looked in life.

She almost choked on the thought, but kept her expression blank, and hurried on. Edward's soul had neither the color of his skin, nor any particular facial features she could discern. Of course, she could only see the makeup of it though his eyes. Perhaps it was shaped like him, but without the details of color and expression that Jacob's soul had possessed. Because in color it was vastly different from Edward's white skin.

Bella glanced over at him again to find him staring at her, sidestepping underbrush he wasn't even looking at. His expression was one of impatience, and she recognized it well. She smiled at him and stopped walking. "Do we have time to sit and talk for a while?" she asked, her eyes still glued to his. She wasn't sure what expression she wore, but Edward nodded and looked relieved. He took her hand and pulled her sideways until they stood between two trees, facing one another. Then he sank to the ground, crossing his legs. When she did the same, her back against the other tree, their knees touched.

It took her much less time to begin than it would have when she was human. Her new mind was capable of processing things much more quickly, so she didn't have as much difficulty finding her words. Even as part of her mind formed the sentences she would speak, another part prepared her heart for the pain. This wouldn't be easy to talk about. "You must have thought I was insane," she started quietly, her expression neutral as she stared at her own hands. "But I wasn't. It wasn't a delusion I saw just after Jacob died. It was his soul." She looked up warily, her breathing as even as she could make it. Jacob's death would be a difficult topic for her for a long time to come. Souls were a difficult topic for Edward. So far, he appeared calm, and she struggled to keep herself that way as well. She didn't look away.

"That was my first hint at what sort of ability I would have after becoming a vampire," she continued. "I think that the only reason I could see his soul before the change was because I was already so acquainted with it. I think that, to a lesser extent than I can now, I was always capable of seeing something of a person's soul in their eyes."

Edward's expression had morphed from calm concern for her pain to confusion. "You haven't looked at a human since your change. How can you know if your ability is more pronounced now?" he asked carefully.

Bella smiled at him sadly. "Don't you remember how obstinate I always was when you tried to tell me that you didn't have a soul? I couldn't prove it to you then. I could sense it was there, but not see it, the way I can now. But I remember looking into your eyes in the crowded cafeteria, and explaining that I could tell you were dangerous, but not bad. Do you remember?"

Edward didn't move. He continued to stare into her eyes, confusion on his face.

She didn't break eye contact. Behind his eyes, she could see the shining bronze light that had first captured her attention, when she'd emerged from the pain of her transformation. Dark, in some ways. He'd had his share of pain, and caused more than his share, maybe. But there was also the capacity for joy. For exceptional love. THAT is what she'd seen in him from the beginning. She recognized now that it was THAT she had fallen in love with, been dazzled by, even more so than his beautiful face. She couldn't look away, but she sensed his impatience.

"You see thoughts, Edward. I see souls. Yours is very beautiful." she finished quietly.

Edward didn't blink or breathe. He felt frozen – not by fear or by worry, for once, but just by shock. It was a pleasant shock, something that didn't happen very often. He had a soul? It didn't occur to him to question her. She wouldn't lie to him. If she said she could see it, then she could. His mind tried to process what it could mean. Did he have a chance at Carlisle's heaven? Was it even possible, after all he had done? He didn't know. He decided he'd figure it out later. He looked into her eyes until he registered that dawn was approaching, both of them sitting with perfect stillness in the shade of their trees. Finally, he closed his eyes. "We should go back. On the way, you can tell me about Aro's soul. That's why you recoiled from him earlier, isn't it?" He didn't wait for an answer. "You covered it well."

Bella nodded, and let him take her hand when he reached for it, following him at a human pace into a huge, circular opening in the city wall. He seemed to know the way and eventually they found themselves passing Gianna, who smiled at them pleasantly, though she looked wary. Apparently word hadn't gotten back to her yet that Bella wasn't a typical newborn. Bella forced herself to smile at the woman without looking into her eyes, and continued upstairs with Edward to face Aro. It was bound to be an unpleasant encounter. She had refused to discuss Aro's soul with Edward, but Aro would see that part of the conversation, as well as the rest. She expected to spend quite a bit of time answering questions about a soul she never truly wanted to look at too closely.

Bella was very happy with the processing capacity of her new mind. She could parry Aro's invasive questions while simultaneously worrying about what Edward thought of it all, and still spare a lot of her thoughts for Jacob. And she could do it all with a serious but not agonized expression. It really was remarkable.

After several hours, though, she was thankful when Aro abruptly decided that she and Edward were not to tell ANYONE about this ability, and then sent them back to their quarters as if they'd somehow broken an unspoken rule.

* * *

><p>The only thing that marked the passing of time for Bella, besides hunting at regular intervals, were the letters, and occasional boxes she received from Washington.<p>

Quil's were the most welcome, as they included pictures of little Charlie and Will. They looked more like Jacob in each image. They were going to be handsome boys. Charlie was starting second grade already, having begun Kindergarten the year she disappeared. Both boys had school pictures that Quil sent to her regularly, in addition to roll after roll of pictures Billy had been taking. Edward sent Gianna out to purchase frames for them, and Bella put several pictures on the mantle above her unused television set.

Quil told her the pack was doing well. Embry was handling things. Leah and Michael and Sam and Emily were helping her father and Billy with her sons. He mentioned that Carlisle had thrown together a Last Will and Testament that made sure the bookstore and half the shop would go to Charlie and Will when they were old enough, although Billy got the house, and Charlie got the money from the stocks. She wouldn't have done it any differently, so she was grateful Carlisle had thought of it. She made sure to write a thank you letter to him.

Quil's tone was always apologetic. It seemed to her that he felt responsible for her current situation, somehow, and she could hardly comprehend it. It was her fault they'd lost Jacob. Her past, that had come back to destroy her, and therefore her responsibility to protect the pack from it in any way she could. And this had been the only way. Jacob had known it. She wrote back graciously each time, minimizing her own pain over her loss and trying to sound chipper about her new life. It wouldn't fool him, of course, but maybe he would stop feeling guilty, eventually.

Alice wrote too, and more frequently than Quil. She gushed over the story of Bella's first hunt, detailing Emmett's reaction for her. She often whined that she wanted to come and visit, which Bella forbade. She did not trust Aro to accept the terms of the treaty as they stood while Alice was nearby.

Bella had long since finished writing everything she could remember about her life in Forks. She'd even let Edward read all the parts about him. They were fairly close. They hunted together, talked about souls in the quietest of whispers, and held hands. But it wasn't the same. Bella wasn't sure what was holding her back, or if something was holding HIM back. It had been two years since she'd lost Jacob. She still thought of him often, but she was careful never to show it on her face. It was easier than she'd expected. And of course, since she no longer slept, Edward never heard her whisper Jacob's name in the night.

She had been astonished to discover that the reason the Volturi were able to live together in relative peace had little to do with their age. In fact, it was because they lived extraordinarily solitary existences. For the most part, Bella lived her life in the sitting room, bedroom, and bathroom that made up her quarters. She was fortunate to have Edward to converse with because there was rarely an opportunity to talk to anyone else. Because they did not feed with the others, there was no reason for them to interact beyond answering Aro's summons on the rare occasions he felt he needed one of them. And since Bella's ability was a secret, such summons was extremely rare in her case.

So she was quite surprised, one day, when she opened her door to find Marcus knocking, rather than Edward. She invited him in politely, avoiding his eyes. It had become customary for her not to look anyone in the eye except Edward, and occasionally Heidi or Demetri, whom she only saw in passing. Though their souls were metallic in color like all the other vampires she'd encountered, they shared a bit of the kindness she could see in Edward. It wasn't as strong. It wasn't as open or inclusive – clearly their kindness was confined to their own species. But Bella could recognize it for what it was, and she tended to be friendlier to them than the others. Marcus, however, she avoided as strenuously as Caius or Jane.

"Hello Marcus. Please," she said quickly, gesturing him into the sitting room. She registered the dead look on his face, and couldn't imagine what had brought him to see her. He certainly didn't appear interested in anything he saw as he looked around. Behind him came the two beautiful bodyguards who followed him everywhere, dressed as usual in short dresses that showed off their perfect legs. "I'm sorry there aren't enough chairs," she said to them, as she closed the door. The girls looked at her, amused. It wasn't as if standing might inconvenience them in any way. Marcus sat on the couch facing the unused television, and they stood behind him. Bella sat as well, turning slightly to face him. "Was there something I could do for you?" she asked politely, a little unnerved that he had not yet spoken, though, of course, she had never before heard his voice.

Marcus looked at her blankly for a moment, and she focused her eyes on his mouth, waiting for him to speak. "You are aware that I see relationships," he began, his voice cold. Bella imagined she could feel the chill coming off his body as well. He sat stiffly on the comfortable leather couch as he continued. "And I have noticed something quite odd. In spite of the fact that you have been a remarkable disappointment to us all in the area of special abilities, Aro continues to be quite taken with you. Usually in circumstances like these, he simply has the newborn killed and moves on. However, he is attached to you in a way I cannot explain, and also slightly fearful." Marcus spoke with no animation, as though he neither cared about these things, nor realized the rudeness of his comments. Bella forced her face into submission, refusing to smile. Because it WAS amusing. Here was something that probably concerned him deeply, but he'd been through so much in the course of his three thousand years that he couldn't muster any real interest in discussing it.

"My conclusion is that Aro must be hiding your abilities from me. If you truly could do nothing but protect your own mind, he would have done away with you at once."

Bella doubted this was true. Aro's desire for Edward's cooperation would probably have prevented such a thing, even if Aro WERE disappointed in her. But he was not disappointed, and clearly Marcus knew that. "Aro has requested that I not speak of my abilities to anyone besides those who were already aware. As a result, only he and Edward have any knowledge on the topic. It would be foolish of me to reveal it to you against his wishes. However, I'm aware it would be equally foolish to refuse," she added, glancing toward the harmless-looking girls behind him. One of them smirked appreciatively. "Maybe it would be best if you and I go together to speak with Aro?" she suggested.

Marcus looked at her again in silence before nodding his agreement. He stood, and he and Bella filed out of her quarters. She didn't look at the girls when they passed her. As she was closing the door behind them, Edward's door opened, and he joined them without a word. Marcus glanced at him, nodded expressionlessly again, and set off toward Aro's office. Bella took a deep breath, but didn't sigh. Here was another grueling conversation with Aro in the making. She wondered if Caius would join them as well. It hardly seemed fair for Marcus to know and not Caius.


	4. Chapter 4

Once Marcus was aware of Bella's ability, life became marginally more interesting. He theorized that their abilities were related, similar to the way Edward and Aro's abilities were related. He could see specific ways in which two souls interacted with one another, whereas she could see the souls themselves. It explained why Marcus' ability could sense Bella's relationships – because they were based on her emotions, her soul, rather than her impregnable mind.

It was unnerving, after years of utter indifference, to see Marcus sitting in her living room, looking Iinterested/I in what she had to say, however slightly. She also learned very quickly that he was impossible to offend. When she told him his soul was fractured in addition to being disturbingly dark and violent, he waved it off. It was to be expected, after all, and he honestly didn't seem to care that she didn't really like him. He just wanted her thoughts on their abilities. So they sat, sometimes for hours at a time, and discussed the theories in grave detail. Sometimes Edward would join them, standing near the mantle and watching Bella's face.

Caius, sans bodyguards, had been informed of Bella's ability as well. He joined Aro and Marcus in watching Bella, noticing whose eyes she would meet and whose she would not, though he never spoke to her about it. On the rare occasions when they were trying to decide whether to initiate someone into the guard, she and Edward would both be consulted.

They were on their way back from such a meeting late one morning when Heidi unexpectedly joined them in waiting for the elevator. "Bella, do you mind if I come up for a minute?" she asked. Bella looked at her oddly. Although she had always been pleasant to Heidi, they had never sought one another out for company before. And as Marcus enjoyed reminding her, she had been a huge disappointment to all of the Volturi who didn't know about her abilities. She didn't expect any of the guard to show an interest in her.

"Of course not," she replied, confused. She glanced at Edward, who looked vaguely amused, and decided that as long as he wasn't concerned she wouldn't be either. Heidi, however, looked at Edward with undisguised annoyance. Everyone knew that he could read their thoughts. Having him around was ridiculously inconvenient. But he smiled at her slightly, and she relaxed. At least he wasn't angry. It HAD been he who mentioned the pictures in the first place.

Edward dropped Bella's hand as they approached her door, and she smiled up at him for an instant. He registered the sadness in her smile as he always did. Over two years, and it had never faded. He forced himself to smile back. "I've got a letter to send to Emmett, so I'm going to run it down to Gianna. Do you have anything you want me to take?" He always offered, but she never gave him letters to deliver. He wasn't sure if it was because she didn't trust him not to read them, or because she'd prefer he not know who she was writing to. He never asked her which.

Bella shook her head. "Nothing today, thanks." He nodded and turned away, disappearing into his room. Bella looked after him briefly, then smiled at Heidi.

"He's very thoughtfully trying not to overhear our conversation," she explained. Heidi smiled as well.

"He's pretty good about that, isn't he? We've all been really rude to him about it, but I guess he can't help it."

"He really can't. He tries not to take advantage."

Heidi shook her head. That was better than a lot of the rest would do, if they had the same gift. Aro, at least, generally asked permission before he read everything in your head. Not that anyone dared refuse. But she was fairly certain that if Felix could read everyone's minds, Volterra would be an absolutely intolerable place to live. And really, as uncomfortable as it was to know that Edward could read her thoughts, she'd never noticed him using his knowledge against her.

Heidi followed Bella into her sitting room and looked around. She spied the objects of her visit immediately, but didn't want to just rush over to look. That seemed rude. "I heard from Gianna that you had pictures of your family," she said hesitantly. "I don't remember mine at all, and I was wondering if you might...share."

Bella turned to blink at Heidi in surprise. She wanted to see pictures of the boys? And then she thought back to the Cullens' excitement over her birthday party, graduation, and the cancelled wedding – the joy they'd felt at sharing in parts of her human life. Seeing the hopeful expression on Heidi's stunning face made it clear to her that this was the same sort of desire. Heidi didn't remember her own humanity, so she wanted to share in Bella's memories. Bella smiled at her, and led her over to the mantle.

"This is Charlie. He's just finished second grade, I think, so I should be getting a new picture soon. It's nearly September, isn't it?" she asked, realizing for the first time how little attention she'd been paying to the passage of time. "And this is Will. He'll be starting second grade. Embry thought they should start school early in case –"

Bella broke off, biting her lip, and looked over at Heidi. "Well, I don't know if you'd heard. Jacob – their father – was a werewolf. With Edward's family living so close to La Push, it's possible the boys will be, too. Embry – Jacob's half-brother – thought that if they started school early, they'd have a better chance of finishing before their first transformation. It was a good thought, and they're such smart boys. I told him to go ahead."

Heidi, apparently, had heard. She looked neither surprised nor scandalized as Bella had expected. Bella smiled at her again. Heidi really was a very nice girl, when she wasn't swept away in the bloodlust. Bella didn't even mind looking her in the eyes now and then, as long as it wasn't shortly after she'd fed. Her soul shone through them, of course, but it wasn't frightening in the way that Aro's or Marcus' was. Maybe it was only because she was so much younger?

"They're very handsome," Heidi replied, looking longingly at the images.

"I have more, if you'd like to see them," Bella offered, since she seemed eager. Heidi nodded, and Bella dug a few stacks of pictures out of the bottom drawer of her little desk. They sat close together on the couch and Bella explained the pictures, naming each person. The longer they looked, the younger the children got. Finally, there was a picture she and Jacob had had taken of the four of them, shortly after Will's birth. She ignored her own wan appearance. "And that's Jake," she said quietly, finding it impossible to look up to see Heidi's reaction.

Heidi didn't comment. She could hear the sadness in Bella's voice. She waited until Bella seemed to shake it off – only a few seconds – and then the picture was whisked from sight like all those before it, and they were looking at a scrapbook that had been at the bottom of the pile. Bella opened it and Edward was staring up at her.

Heidi smiled as Bella spent just as long on this picture as she had on Jacob. "He always looks at you like that," she commented after a moment. Bella spared her a glance.

"Not always. Sometimes he looks at me like this." She flipped a few more pages until the creased picture of Edward and Bella came into view. She unfolded it, and put it into the little corner holders properly. When she glanced up again, the corners of Heidi's perfect mouth were turned down.

"Did you fight?" she asked after a moment.

"No. It was complicated. There was an incident..." Bella closed her eyes for a moment, remembering. Her journal writing had helped substantially in preserving her memories. She could still see the wild thirst in Jasper's eyes. She told her the story quietly, making sure Heidi understood that Bella had never blamed Jasper, or anyone else, really. It had been her own clumsiness that had caused it.

"It wasn't long before Edward decided that it was too dangerous for me to be around his family, or him. This was taken shortly before he left me," she said sadly, looking back toward the picture. Nothing had ever been the same between them after that.

Heidi was in awe. "How can you remember it so clearly? I only remember my own name because they called me by it after the change."

"That's Edward's doing. He told me once that after I wasn't human anymore, I would lose those memories. On the way here, we got these." She stood, and pulled a journal off the bookshelf Edward had purchased for her soon after their arrival. She handed it to Heidi, who flipped through it at remarkable speed, and handed it back.

"Wow. Then what happened?" she asked, and her expression was so eager that Bella laughed. Heidi was much easier to talk to than she ever would have imagined.

"I'll let you read them sometime," she dodged. "Edward hasn't read them all yet, and he should be the first."

"You haven't let him read them?" Heidi queried, her tone a little off. Bella replaced the journal and looked over at her.

"Not all of them. I wanted –" she stopped and looked back at the shelf. "The ones about what happened while he was gone will probably really hurt him. I suppose I was trying to wait until things were Iright/I between us, as if that might somehow make it easier for him."

"And you don't think things are right?"

Bella reflected that Heidi had a lot in common with her old friend Angela. They both saw a lot more than was comfortable. And they were both kind. Heidi, however, tended to talk more. And ask more uncomfortable questions.

"No. And I'm not sure exactly why."

Heidi looked at her oddly for a moment. "You're ready to move on, then?" she clarified, glancing back at the huge stack of pictures. Bella grimaced.

"That depends what you mean by 'moving on.' I'm not ready to forget about my family. I'm not going to take down the pictures of my boys and stop writing to my friends. But I'm not spending all of my time dwelling on the past anymore, either. It isn't like I keep that picture of Jacob up where anyone can see it. I didn't even show you all the pictures from the trip to Vegas and the bonfire – most of my pictures of Jake I keep locked away in a trunk under the bed. I hardly ever look at them anymore, and I'd forgotten that one was even in the drawer," she added. Abruptly, she dug it out of the stack and disappeared into the other room to hide it away.

Heidi followed her, watching. "But you ARE still wearing your wedding rings," she observed shrewdly, trying to keep her tone light. She'd noticed them as they handed pictures back and forth. Bella, surprised, slammed her fingers in the trunk she'd slid out from under her bed, denting the lid. She sighed, looking at the damage, then closed it again more gently.

"I'd forgotten," she whispered. She was still kneeling at the side of her unused bed, shoving the trunk back underneath. She put her hands on the bed and looked at her rings. Heidi sat down at the foot and looked with her, a sympathetic expression on her face. Finally Bella looked up. "I'm not sure I'm ready to part with them, after all. But –"

She looked at her hands again, and her eyes fell on her bracelet. She smiled, and slowly took off her rings. She put the emerald engagement ring on her right hand. Then she took off her bracelet and very carefully bent one of the links, near the little wolf that had dangled there since her high school graduation party. She attached the wedding ring to it, and bent the link back into place, securing it there. Then she swallowed hard. They would still be with her. She looked at her bare fingers for a few seconds more, then smiled up at Heidi, and put the bracelet on her right wrist, leaving her left hand entirely without adornment.

Heidi was grinning, too. "Good advice," Bella said, standing.

"Any time."

Heidi stood as well, and followed Bella back out into the sitting room. Then she passed her, and made her way to the door. "Heidi, it really means a lot that you wanted to look through the pictures with me, and hear about my life," Bella said suddenly, as the woman's hand grasped the door handle.

Heidi turned around. "It means a lot that you were willing to share," she replied warmly. And then she was gone. Bella looked around the room, more than a little bemused by the turn of events. Although she'd seen Heidi's soul, and knew she was a decent person in spite of the diet she kept, she had never expected to be able to talk to her so easily. She still shuddered at the thought of what happened in the circular room, two floors down, and Heidi wasn't just a participant. She actively sought out their victims. And yet ... Bella couldn't help feeling that maybe they could be friends. It was disturbing in some ways.

Had she now been a vampire so long that she could forgive the murder of innocents in her friends? Was she coming to view such things as commonplace? _Acceptable?_ She shook her head, and had a sudden urge to do something she'd been avoiding ever since her transformation was complete. She wanted to take a good long look at her own soul. Unfortunately, she'd removed all the mirrors from her quarters in the very beginning.


	5. Chapter 5

Edward hadn't hunted alone since they'd arrived in Volterra. Bella required more regular trips than he did, but he'd always taken advantage of their hunts, so that he could spend as much time with her as possible. He was amazed, really, at his own capacity for masochism. It seemed to have grown since their very short time together in college. Every second they spent together was difficult for him, though waiting in his room to see if she would seek him out was also agonizing. She rarely did. If it weren't for the expression on her face when she stared into his eyes, he wasn't sure he'd be able to stand any of it.

Bella had given him an out, of course. It was in her nature to be concerned for the pain of others and that, at least, had never changed about her. At any time, he could go to Aro and request never to see her again. They would be separated for the next ninety-some-odd years. But the very thought brought to mind the emptiness that had defined his life during their years apart. He had faced it twice. And no matter how much her sad smiles and distance hurt him, he never wanted to face it again. The thought that someone else might be there to comfort her, as Jacob had been, was a deterrent as well.

He stalked the lynx without giving it much thought, and without his usual joy in the hunt. He realized that he only ever enjoyed it anymore because he spent his time watching Bella. Hunting was the only thing that seemed to draw a smile from her that wasn't sad. It wasn't the smile he remembered, either – more predatory, less happy. But at least it wasn't sad.

He wasn't really thirsty, but Heidi had come to talk to Bella, and aside from Marcus, she was the first to do so in three solid years. Also, she clearly didn't like the idea of him listening in, so he'd decided it was best to get out of the area. He felt his lips pull up into a smile as he remembered Bella's defense of him, though. That had felt good. He let his mind dwell on that, in a futile effort to keep from thinking about the things that didn't, such as their conversations about souls.

He was more troubled by her ability than he'd ever admitted to her. It had taken months to come to terms with the idea that he had a soul. Aro had been equally shocked – and afraid. Edward could understand that. If word got out to the rest of the Volturi that they had souls, Aro's whole way of life might come crashing down around his ears. Who would want to continue on a path of murder, knowing it would destroy his soul? But apparently, there were some who were unbothered by the thought.

Since Marcus and Caius had been informed about her ability, and had subsequently decided that they really didn't give a damn about the state of their souls, Bella had been a little more open about discussing things with him. Aro had indicated that he was as interested in hearing her thoughts on the souls of the rest of the Volturi as he was in anything Edward had to say about their minds. Maybe MORE interested. He could find out what was in their minds for himself, after all. And Marcus had been insistent that she share whatever she could discover with him, as well.

So, she had told Edward a great deal about the souls of the vampires they interacted with in Volterra. There were only two souls she utterly refused to discuss. The two that concerned him most. Bella's and his own. He had not resorted to begging, but he HAD asked why. Her response had been ... unsatisfactory.

The lynx was close. He tried to give himself over to his sense of smell and failed. He just wasn't that thirsty, and his mind was too preoccupied with Bella. He stepped into the animal's line of sight and it stared at him for a moment. He hoped it would hiss and attack him. But it did not. It just blinked at him as if it could see he wasn't going to harm it, and insolently turned its back on him, ambling away. He sighed in disgust.

The trip back to Volterra was slow, and he made it that way on purpose. Running alone was not much fun anymore, either. He missed Emmett and Jasper. He desperately missed Carlisle. And yet, he was glad they weren't around. All three of them were insufferable when he was unhappy, for different reasons. Emmett was always so optimistic. Carlisle was always so understanding. And Jasper. Jasper would tell him to stop feeling sorry for himself and just kiss her and see what happened. Also, he admitted to himself, he was embarrassed. Even HE had thought that after a few years, Bella would be interested in him again. But maybe she had changed too much. Maybe she just wasn't capable of loving him that way anymore. That thought opened up a wound in his chest that had been his constant companion for so long, it seemed permanent. He gritted his teeth and walked faster.

Things were better than they had been during that single semester they'd spent together at Dartmouth, at least. He could see that she was making an effort to tell him what was on her mind. But her mind was a lot different now than it had been as a human. He was perfectly aware that when he asked what she was thinking and got a single response, she wasn't telling him everything. And whatever she wasn't telling him was probably about Jacob Black. He had tried to resign himself to that, but he still struggled with the pain of it.

Once in a great while, she would admit that she was thinking of Jacob, but not often. For the most part, she said she was thinking about the souls of the Volturi, what she was going to say next to Marcus, or whether or not she was thirsty enough to hunt that night. These were not the sorts of things that could thoroughly occupy a mind like hers, and he knew it. But he never pressed her for more, even though he could see that they were headed down the same path as before.

He was entering the huge drainage pipe that allowed him access to the city before he was really ready. He wondered if Bella and Heidi were finished yet. He knew what Heidi had wanted to discuss. She'd overheard him asking Gianna for frames for Bella's newest pictures, and she wanted to see them. Like every other vampire he knew, Heidi had no past, any more than she had a future. She wanted to know what it was like. And Bella was the closest thing to human that any of them had, except Gianna herself, who admittedly held little interest. She'd wanted to see Bella's f_amily_.

And THAT thought hurt more than most things. Bella had a family: sons, and a brother-in-law, a father and mother, and the pack. They wrote to her and thought of her and cared about her. What did she need with him? He passed Gianna without a word and got in the elevator. Then he went to his room and waited, knowing she wouldn't come. Knowing that Heidi was already gone. And knowing he would break down and go to her, eventually.

Bella was standing in front of her couch when Edward came in. He'd long since stopped knocking at her door. She could hear him coming, and if she didn't want company, she could say so before he entered. Sometimes she did. He went to stand beside her, realizing she was looking at the framed pictures of Charlie and Will. Charlie _Masen_ and William _Carlisle_ Black. He kept his eyes on the floor.

Bella looked up to smile at him, but frowned instead when she noticed his downcast eyes and blank expression. "You're assuming something," she accused gently. He didn't reply, so she reached for his hand, but he avoided her fingers. Instead he turned toward her and took her other hand in both of his, and then she felt him tense. Finally his eyes turned up to hers, and she realized something that hadn't occurred to her before. He NEVER held her left hand. Whenever she'd reached for him with that hand, he'd always found a way to smoothly avoid it and take her right hand instead. In all this time, she'd never noticed it. Heidi had been right.

It backfired on him today, though. When he took her right hand, he immediately noticed the cool metal that encircled her finger. He looked up at her in shock to find her smiling at him. And she didn't look sad. He didn't even think. He brought both hands up to cradle her face and kissed her. Hard.

Bella was glad her mind processed more quickly these days. It kept her from freezing in shock. She could see in his eyes the joy – and knew what was coming. And when his cool, hard lips touched her own, she realized she wanted it badly. At first, it was like it had been years before. His lips weren't AS cool – didn't seem AS hard to her, but they moved over hers insistently, with a desperation she remembered from their last days together. As if he was trying to convince her that she wanted this as much as he did. She didn't need convincing.

When Edward felt her tongue on his lips he opened them to her, thrilled she wasn't pulling away. She tasted incredible, but so different from before. Not as warm, but warmer than him. And not as fragile. He felt his whole body shiver as her tongue slid over his for the first time. His hands fell from her cheeks, and he wrapped his arms possessively around her waist and squeezed, for once holding nothing back. She molded to his body in a way he'd thought no vampire could.

Neither of them needed to breathe anymore, and it crossed both their minds that they could do this forever, if they chose. They very nearly did. Neither knew how much time had passed when they finally broke apart, Edward lowering his forehead to touch hers, and both of them gasping in air more from the intensity of the moment than any real need. He watched her chest heave with satisfaction. "God, Bella, I didn't think we'd ever –"

"Shhh." His musical voice had sounded so broken, so hoarse. She cut him off, bringing her mouth back to his. He didn't argue.

When the knock sounded, quite some time later, they were standing in exactly the same attitude. Edward scowled at the door, registering who was on the other side, and what they wanted all at once. It was all he could do to make himself let her go.

He opened the door to find Felix and Demetri standing in the corridor, arms folded identically across their chests. Felix looked amused. Demetri looked resigned. It was Felix who spoke. "Aro's been trying to get your attention for three hours, and he's not real pleased with being ignored."

From the corner of his eye, Edward saw Bella grin and duck her head, which made it hard to suppress a smile of his own. "I was a little distracted. I don't monitor people's thoughts every second," Edward returned, inwardly cringing. He quickly cast about for Aro's thoughts and discovered that it was just as Felix said. He ignored it when they both thought exactly the same thing. IWell, that's a relief/I.

Felix turned away and Edward glanced over his shoulder at Bella. She was still smiling in a way he could recognize. When he held out his hand, she moved quickly across the room to take it, and they followed Felix to the elevator, Demetri behind them. Bella turned and smiled at him briefly, making Edward glance back as well, in answer to Demetri's surprise. Bella smiled so infrequently. And then they resigned themselves to another long talk with Aro, both wishing instead that they could be alone to talk with one another.

* * *

><p>Aro was waiting for them in his office along with Jane, in addition to his bodyguards. Bella didn't usually see much of Jane, which was for the best. She doubted she would ever forget who had given the order for Jacob's death. She was as likely to forgive Jane as she was to forgive Felix, which is to say, not at all. She kept her face carefully blank, pleased once again by how simple it was.<p>

Jane appeared bored as usual while Aro was clearly excited. Bella glanced at Edward, who was frowning, and knew this was not going to be their usual sort of meeting. "Ah, Edward! Bella!" he began, not sounding at all annoyed, though Bella could easily imagine that he was. He had become used to simply thinking that he wanted them, and having them appear. She watched as Aro held out his hand and Edward went to take it without the slightest hesitation. It occurred to her, not for the first time, that she despised that he had to share all his thoughts with Aro. She was glad she could at least protect his soul from Aro's scrutiny.

"Excellent timing, then," Aro commented as he released Edward's hand. He looked positively thrilled. "A break for you both – a chance to get away together! Jane?"

The frown line in Edward's forehead deepened as Jane stepped forward. She scowled at them both. "A situation has arisen in Peru. An unusually powerful newborn has destroyed his father, and the entire coven that was keeping him in line. He's been sighted in the sun at least twice that we know of, and none of the local covens will claim responsibility for him," she added with a sneer at Edward, reminding them of Carlisle's failed attempt to show mercy to the unfortunate newborn named Bree.

"You will both accompany her, of course, to deal with the newborn before he can cause any further damage. You'll have to make haste. Jane has already arranged transportation." Aro smiled at them through brittle lips.

"We leave in thirty minutes," Jane added smugly, noticing the glance Edward and Bella exchanged.

Edward nodded and turned on his heel. Bella followed him so quickly that a human would have said they turned in the same instant. The whole situation was like having ice water dumped over your head after you'd just snuggled down into a warm bed. Bella suppressed the urge to roll her eyes at herself for that thought. Even when she wasn't thinking of Jacob, sometimes she was.

She focused her thoughts on the coming journey instead. Why, all of the sudden, were they being given an assignment outside Volterra? And why with Jane? As far as she knew, Jane ALWAYS worked with Felix and Demetri. It was disquieting, to say the least. It was also of concern that Jane followed them right back up to their rooms and waited in the hallway while they each retrieved their cloaks. As if they might bolt.

Aro had, after he'd ascertained the usefulness of Bella's talent, given each of them dark charcoal cloaks with deep hoods. Darker than any of the guard wore, but not the black of Jane's. Bella emerged from her room already wearing it. She had no other clothing that she could wear in the sun. Fortunately, it wouldn't be long before nightfall. This would get her to a car, at least, and Jane wasn't foolish enough to schedule a daytime flight. They would fly out after dark. She wasn't sure exactly WHAT she would do in Peru, though. Maybe it didn't matter, as the newborn had already been spotted.

She waited in the hallway with Jane in silence, avoiding her eyes. Edward appeared only a few moments later, similarly dressed. He, at least, had a bag with some clothes in it. Bella realized that going through eternity with only three serviceable outfits wasn't going to be convenient, and promptly decided to stop being so proud and ask him to take her shopping when they got home. She frowned all the way down in the elevator.

Edward noticed, but didn't dare ask what was wrong in front of Jane. He had expected to feel a little excited at the prospect of getting out of this veritable prison, but he realized he wasn't looking forward to this fight like he would if it were his own family he was protecting – like he had looked forward to the newborn fight back in Forks. He knew he was frowning also. He would have liked some privacy with Bella to try and figure out where they were going from here. Or even just where 'here' was for them, now. Everything had changed so quickly. At least, he hoped it had changed. He glanced at her unhappy expression again, and gritted his teeth. She heard it, and smiled at his obvious annoyance. "We never get a break, do we?" she asked. She heard Jane huff in annoyance, but didn't care. Edward immediately put his arm around her waist and pulled her as close to him as he could. He didn't answer.


	6. Chapter 6

Peru was humid, and Bella was glad for the faint chill her body seemed to maintain naturally that kept her from feeling it, even wrapped as she was in her dark gray cloak. For the thousandth time, she wondered how exactly Jane hoped to find the newborn. In a jungle. Without Demetri. She suppressed a sigh.

Edward didn't wonder. Jane was hoping the newborn would find them. And preferably that it would kill Edward and Bella before she was 'able' to subdue it. She wasn't shy about letting him know that, either. Every time the thought crossed her mind, she glanced at him in amusement. He kept his jaw set to prevent himself from speaking to her, and gripped Bella's hand more tightly than he'd ever done. She didn't seem to notice.

"This is stupid," Bella commented the first morning, when they'd returned to their inconspicuous hotel before dawn after an entire night spent randomly searching the jungle. "We need a search pattern." She got up from the couch, where she'd been watching Edward pretend to watch television, and left the room abruptly. He looked after her in shock. Then he turned very deliberately back to the television, reminding himself that she was not the same Bella she'd been in high school. If she wanted to go somewhere alone, she was more than entitled. She could take care of herself. He forced back his panic. Jane's renewed amusement didn't help his disposition, however.

Ten minutes later, Bella came back with a map of the immediate area, a pen, and a ruler. "Jane?" she asked, trying to keep the annoyance out of her voice. She waited for the slight woman to approach the table on which she'd spread out the map.

She pointed out the little village where reports of the sparkling newborn had originated. "Pick a spot at the edge of the trees near here, and we'll work from there," she said dryly. She couldn't believe she was doing this. Of course, she HAD at least become good enough at it to find the meadow alone, by the time she and Jake had stopped looking for it together. And over the years, the two of them had hiked from time to time.

Jane put her finger on the map briefly and then turned away. Edward smiled his lopsided smile as he watched Bella quickly draw the spokes, radiating outward from that point. Then she turned to him. "I couldn't afford a compass," she admitted, shrugging. The only reason she'd had any money at all was because he'd handed her some to buy toys at the airport that she'd thought Charlie and Will would like. His smile widened.

"That will teach you to run off without me," he joked, standing. They both heard Jane huff again. Any time they said anything to one another that wasn't strictly related to their task, she got annoyed. Edward didn't spare her a glance, but he did look down at Bella's handiwork and nod. "That will help. Where can we buy a compass?"

Bella grinned up at him. "I'll show you," she offered, reaching for his hand and wishing she'd taken him along last time, too. Maybe they'd finally get a chance to talk. Or do something else.

"Show us both," Jane interjected, her voice oppressive. They turned to look at her, and though Bella kept her face expressionless to mask her disappointment, Edward scowled. For the first time, Jane thought about the instructions she'd been given before they'd arrived in Aro's office. She wasn't to let Edward out of her sight. Apparently Aro didn't care if Bella disappeared on him, but he wasn't letting Edward go without a fight. Or maybe he just knew Bella wouldn't leave the Volturi without Edward, but had less faith in Edward's commitment to Bella? After a tense moment, he shrugged and let Bella pull him out the door, Jane following.

They purchased a compass from a disreputable looking man in one of the tents on the outskirts of town, hurrying to get back to the hotel before the sun broke over the horizon. It was clearly not where Bella had found her ruler, but she made a beeline for it, obviously very sure of her destination. "I noticed him on the way back," she explained to Edward. He'd been looking at her funny ever since they'd left the hotel. "What?"

"Are you the same girl who had to ask me which way was north?" he asked, mostly amused, but slightly alarmed, as he always was when one of the changes in her became too apparent.

"Not really," she joked. "I learned to navigate when I was searching for our meadow. I remembered where we started from, but wasn't sure what direction to go. I recalled you saying it was about five miles. Jacob drew the search pattern in six mile spokes. It took several trips, but I found it. He'd stopped talking to me the week before, because Sam felt it was too dangerous, so I found it alone..." she trailed off, thinking of Laurent, and then noticed that Edward looked miserable. She rolled her eyes. He probably thought she'd stopped talking out of some long-held misery because Jake had stopped talking to her for a few weeks.

"And when I did, Laurent found ME. So I was lucky the pack was in the area. Of course, they scared me half to death. I was much more afraid of them than Laurent, oddly enough." She grinned at him, and his expression cleared.

"Sorry," he said quickly, realizing he'd managed to assume the wrong thing again.

"Just ask me. Remembering doesn't hurt nearly as much as that look on your face."

"If you two are quite finished," Jane cut in pointedly. Edward laughed at her, which made her scowl at him even harder. But he felt fairly light-hearted again, all of a sudden. He simply smiled in return. As long as she wasn't grinning at him, he didn't feel particularly subservient. It helped, knowing how badly she wanted to make him hurt, because she wasn't doing it, and that probably meant she'd been instructed not to.

Out of the corner of his eye, he watched Bella fiddling with the compass. She noticed. The more often she looked into his eyes, the brighter his soul was to her. And when he was happy, it seemed to glow. Naturally, then, any time his eyes were on her, she noticed. "You're probably better with this than I am," she admitted, handing it to him.

"Probably." They made it back to the room just before dawn, and Edward's amusement lasted well into the next night's search.

* * *

><p>Bella wasn't tired, and she hadn't tripped over anything in the darkness of the jungle. She HAD, however, embarrassed herself in front of Jane. She was only three years a vampire, after all. She was thirsty, and the woods were her only hunting ground. She left Jane and Edward abruptly, and didn't return for several long minutes. Edward had taught her to enjoy the hunt, and after her initial failure with the bear, she'd had little trouble. The jaguar she caught was more fun than the bears in Italy. She could suddenly understand why Edward preferred the lynx and mountain lions.<p>

Jane had only huffed in annoyance, while a grinning Edward had put his arm around her waist briefly upon her return before grabbing her hand, glancing at the compass, and pulling her off into the trees again. They covered four spokes of Bella's drawing in only an hour, and were just completing the fifth, when a familiar scent brought Bella to a sudden stand still. Edward and Jane stopped as well.

Bella sniffed at the air delicately and then turned to look at Jane, her face twisted into an angry snarl that made Edward step back from her. For the first time, she looked like a _vampire_. Jane held her ground. "Is this supposed to be some kind of sick joke?" Bella demanded. Her hands had clenched themselves into fists without her conscious permission, and it was all she could do to stop herself from closing the distance between them and … she wasn't sure WHAT she would do, if she found Jane within her reach.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked quickly, and she turned her fierce expression on him. If possible, she looked even angrier.

"Can't you smell it?" she hissed. She waited, practically shaking with anger, as he turned his head to catch the scent. And then his worried expression disappeared into blankness, and he turned his eyes back to her.

"Did you know?" she demanded in a furious whisper. "Did you read it in her mind and not tell me?"

Jane was watching all of this with an amused expression, and Edward let his eyes flicker over to her and then focused back on Bella. "She didn't know. Even now she wonders what you're talking about." He paused. "And I would have told you," he added more quietly. Whatever happiness he'd been holding on to since the moment he discovered that she'd removed her wedding rings drained away in the face of her anger. Of her distrust. Did she really think he would have brought her hunting werewolves and not warned her?

Bella forced her hands to unclench. She wasn't sure she believed him, of course. She knew how much he'd despised the pack. She'd noticed the expression on his face when he caught the scent of wolves in the forests around Volterra. But then she met his eyes, and Embry's quiet voice came back to her. She'd been sobbing in her own bed the afternoon Jacob had died, and he'd stood in the doorway. "I thought you'd want to know – Edward tried to save him. The female prevented him. We're not sure how…"

There'd been more, but it slipped away from her now. It didn't matter. SHE knew how Jane had done it. Finally, she nodded at Edward. He continued to stare at her, tense, until she noticed that she had fallen into a half-crouch as though to attack him. The realization startled her, and she straightened abruptly, and took a deep breath. "I know," she whispered finally.

Edward relaxed and turned to Jane. "There's a werewolf nearby. He's been through here within the last half an hour."

Jane's face had taken on a bored expression as soon as it was clear that Bella was not going to attack Edward. She was thoroughly disappointed. It would have been great fun to watch him try to restrain her without hurting her, while she tried to tear his arms off. But, it appeared that Bella had a temper. Maybe some other time. "We'll have to kill it before we can continue the search. You're familiar with the scent. Find it." She addressed Edward, not bothering to look at Bella.

It wouldn't have mattered, however, as Bella had already regained control. Edward DID look over at her, but she only nodded grimly. This was inevitable, now. Not all werewolves were Quileutes, after all. And if they could smell it, then it could smell them, or would at the first change of the wind. And it would attack. She would far rather that the world be short one unknown werewolf than that anything happen to Edward. Part of her mind was already wondering how much damage her accusations had done. It felt like a chasm had opened between them already, and they hadn't even attempted to discuss it yet. She watched him turn away, tracking the scent, and followed him. She heard Jane trailing behind.

The huge, chocolate brown wolf found them before they found him. He'd clearly scented them first and doubled back around. As soon as Edward realized they were making a circle, he turned. The wolf immediately knew the game was up. It appeared, snarling, on the path they had just walked, it's teeth bared. Edward quickly put himself between Bella and the wolf, though he left Jane exposed. She threw him an annoyed glance, but he only raised an eyebrow. An hour ago, she'd been looking forward to letting a newborn vampire kill them and she expected him to protect her? She seemed to see the indignation in his expression, and she looked away quickly.

Bella stared at the wolf. It wasn't looking at her. It clearly saw Edward as the most dangerous adversary. Jane had it howling in agony before any of them had time to wonder how this was going to play out. When her beautiful smile faded, her voice was cold. "Morph back to your human form now," she instructed, "or you and your pack will suffer together again." Edward kept his face impassive. The wolf's mind was its own. There was no pack.

The wolf stood gingerly, as though testing for damage, and morphed. For just a moment, Jane, Edward and Bella all stared at the creature in shock. There was an instant during which none of them could wrap their minds around the reality. And then Edward was falling into a familiar defensive posture, and Jane took a step back to allow him room to fight. Before them, nude and pale as snow, stood a newborn vampire, his eyes blood red. He was already preparing for battle as well.

Bella blinked. "Wait, Edward," she said softly, and then repeated, in a language neither Jane nor Edward understood, "wait."

Abruptly, the newborn stood straight, and Bella was embarrassingly reminded of her own recent bout of temper. Edward straightened too, with more grace. He didn't take his eyes from the abomination before them. Because that's what it was, to his mind. Someone had _changed_ a werewolf. It was unheard of. No wonder the creature was so unpredictable! And now Bella wanted him to wait? He was finally starting to feel a little excitement over something. This would be a good fight!

"You aren't Quileute," the newborn said, addressing Bella. He spoke English, as if he knew she had only a few words in his language.

"But you are," she replied pointedly.

"Yes."

"Aterra?" Bella guessed, having noticed that he was rather shorter than most of the pack, and more solidly built. He reminded her of Quil. His coloration in wolf form had been similar.

"Russ." He snorted, but it was agreement. "Who the hell are you?"

Bella moved to step forward, but Edward blocked her path with one arm, his eyes still on Russ. "Edward," she said quietly. "Don't." She heard his teeth grind together for a moment before his arm fell. She positioned herself carefully beside, rather than ahead of him. If he noticed the concession, he said nothing.

"When I was alive, my name was Bella Black," she began carefully. This was a fine line, identifying herself with the pack while behind her stood Jane, whom the pack despised. And doing it without causing any new pain to Edward. "I was married to Jacob Black, whose father is –"

"Billy," he finished for her, impatient. "How did you end up –"

"Enough," Jane cut across his question, though her voice was quiet. "It doesn't matter who he is. He's a threat to our way of life and Aro sent us to kill him. Edward?" she asked imperiously, making it a command. Edward neither moved nor answered.

"He's Quileute. You can't touch him," Bella replied calmly, turning her back on Russ and Edward to look at Jane. "If you do, the treaty is broken. Edward and I will return to Forks." She had no idea if Edward would return to Forks with her, after the awful things she'd said to him. She hoped so. But it didn't matter. As bluffs went, it worked perfectly. Jane was scowling. Edward was still carefully sizing up their adversary. Finally, he spoke.

"Bella is right. No member of the Volturi can lay a hand on a Quileute, or the treaty is broken. But we can't leave him here alone, either. He's too strong, and he doesn't know how to control himself."

Russ scowled at him – he didn't appreciate being talked about in the third person by someone who was staring into his face so intensely, even if what he was saying WAS true. Catching the thought, Edward blinked. "We're going to have to take you back to Forks," he finished, addressing Russ for the first time.

"That's out of the question." Jane was standing, hands on her hips, slightly behind Bella and Edward. Bella was watching her. Edward was still watching the only known creature to be both vampire and werewolf. It was Edward who replied, his tone even.

"Your instructions were to solve the problem, not kill the newborn. My family will teach him how to be a vampire. The pack will teach him how to be a werewolf. He'll be subject to the treaty, so there will be no danger of him exposing us. We're taking him back to Forks."

Bella watched Jane's face as a look of fury came over it, and was quickly replaced by blankness. There was silence.

Russ looked between Edward and Jane, trying to decide who was really in charge. It had seemed clear initially that the girl was the leader. However, she didn't contradict Edward. "I don't know how to get there. Even before the bloodsuckers attacked, I didn't trust myself much around people. I couldn't just get on a plane and go home. And now – now, I can't be around anyone…." His tone sounded so hopeless, Bella felt sorry for him. She glanced at Edward, hoping he had some idea what they could do. As usual, she was not disappointed.

"We'll charter a flight to land in Port Angeles. It'll have to be a small plane, and we'll have to time it to land early in the morning. When we get off, we'll run for Forks. Bella and Jane can follow –"

"If you're going to Washington, you're going without me, and outside the authority of the Volturi," Jane said calmly. Edward, who had relaxed slightly, tensed again, and turned toward her. He was about to speak, but Bella beat him to it. He had to do a double take. He still wasn't used to her thinking and reacting as quickly as he could.

"It would really be a shame, Jane, if you chose not to support us in this. How humiliating for you to have negotiated the contract, only to be the one who destroys it," she said quietly. Edward suppressed a grimace. How similar that dig was to an observation Jane had once made to him. And yet, he knew that it was for that reason Bella had said it. She understood Jane, maybe better than he did. Embarrassment would deter her before threats of violence, which he knew is what would have come out of his mouth.

Jane set her jaw. It WOULD be embarrassing to go home and tell Aro she'd lost Edward and Bella over this abomination, much more so than if they'd simply been killed during the fight. "Very well," she said finally. "But we will all take the chartered flight. No one will stay behind. And the Volturi are NOT paying to ferry a glorified canine halfway across the world," she added, sounding almost petulant.

"I never expected they would," Edward agreed dryly.


End file.
